We’re gonna Benjamin Button this movie because the best way to evaluate everything wrong with the family in this movie is to go from the end to the beginning. It is clear that the only person who values life in this movie is John Krasinski himself. But let’s go through the avoidable mistakes from the rest of the cast.

Avoidable Mistake 1: John’s Death

Okay, I know they have names. His name is Lee. But because they don’t really say them in the movie, I’m not going to bother to use them.

Johnny Lee could have lived, and I think we all know this. If little deaf girl Reagan had bothered to turn on her hearing aid after an encounter that showed it could hurt the monster and herself, Jon-El wouldn’t even have to call the monster over. It would have just skedaddled. Instead, she had to learn this moments later. But this situation wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for

Avoidable Mistake 2: Quick Grain

The kids, Scaredy Pants and Deafy Ears, hide up on the silo to wait for their dad. But instead of sticking it out, Deafy decides to leave. Scaredy, having a healthy fear of death, goes to stop her, and falls into the silo.

You may ask yourself: “How was that avoidable?”

If Deafy just sat and waited, they wouldn’t even have fallen in! I could understand that she has this notion that her dad doesn’t love her if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s spent hours toiling making all of these hearing aids for her! When she sees the work bench with all the hearing aids she suddenly realises he loves her! But not when he tries to give her one of many hearing aids in the beginning of the movie! She gets mad at him for it! But when she realises he didn’t just buy them from WalMart (?) she has this revelation that he cares?

And you know the icing on the cake, when Scaredy Marky says “He’ll come for us”, she says “He’ll come for you!”

I almost did a 360 in my seat. What scenario is she imagining? John climbs the silo and says “Sorry Reggie, I’m only here for Marcus, you’re gonna have to stay”?

In any case, they wouldn’t even be in that situation if it wasn’t for

Avoidable Mistake 3: Awful Carpentry???

Let’s address the scene in this movie that pushed me from enjoying it to being upset with it. The nail on the stair step. Or as I like to call it, the nail in the coffin.

Eevee’s laundry bag get’s caught on something. What would a sane person do?

I don’t know, maybe… check to see what it was caught on? Hm… makes too much sense. Let’s pull it. Now this can goes two ways:

A) She struggles to pull it free and falls against the stairs

or

B) She rips a perfectly good laundry bag and has to pick up all the clothes off the floor

I know you might think that only a psychopath would be okay with either of these options, but this is Evelyn not Einstein. She pulls the bag, falls, makes noise. Oh no, monsters inbound. If only there was a way I could possibly have been careful like I have for the last 370+ days. Nope.

Sidenote: she didn’t even check what it was caught on! Not even a glance! She just keeps going!

You probably think I’m going to say “she wouldn’t have to do laundry if it wasn’t for…” but I’m not. The next one is a theoretical.

Avoidable Mistake 4: Bobo’s Replacement

Riddle me this: if you live a life where you have to be completely silent, at what point do you rationalise having a child? What’s more noisy and worse at following directions than a baby? Nothing! Not even a dog!

And I don’t mean to nitpick, but how do you knock boots without making enough noise to attract the monsters anyway?

The reason I bring this up is because with all the other mistakes avoided, this is still something that would put them in danger.

But let’s backtrack with another theoretical, because those two kids also would also not have fallen in the silo if it weren’t for

Avoidable Mistake 5: The Beaune Zone

Oh boy, the original mistake. Now, Deafy here decides to give her brother a noisy toy because she doesn’t respect her parents or the well being of her family. But why did she not bother to watch the kid, knowing that he’d want to put batteries inside the thing? And on that note, why is he at the back of the group? Call me a psychopath, but when I’m walking with kids I like them beside me or in front of me so I can keep my eyes on them. Not this family though. Bobby is left so far behind you’d think he was just another person walking that happened to be within the vicinity of this family. But because of her own mistake, she has concocted this idea that her dad hates her, which we can obviously see isn’t true by the way he treats her in the movie but… whatever.

The Verdict

A Quiet Place was a well put together movie. The soundtrack, the pacing, the cinematography, all of it was good. And it would have been great if it weren’t a thriller. I wasn’t scared at all through a good portion of the movie because instead of fearing for the lives of the main characters, I wanted all of them (except Johnny Lee) to die.

But guess who died this this movie? Just John Krasinski!